I was going to type up a regular post of what I would write when I launch the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge. You know the captivating headling and all the bells and whistles, but not today.

I just treated myself to a massage. I haven't gotten a massage in YEARS, and now I'm adding another monthly investment to my self-care and personal development budget. Why am I talking about this? Because investing in yourself is not only necessary, it should be a non-negotiable.

And I'm not just telling you that because I want you to join the challenge. I'm telling you this because so often, as mothers, we put everyone else's needs above our own, including the things that we buy. I buy my son all the things, and I'm not complaining about that whatsoever. I'm thankful to have the opportunity to do that BUT start buying things for you that will not only bring you happiness but will help you heal, connect, and grow into a better version of yourself.

Too often, we're quick to buy tangible items that...

You won't find happiness, patience, or peace at the bottom of the bottle. But you will discover shame, regret, and mom guilt.

Those fleeting moments of euphoria aren't worth what's left at the bottom of the bottle.

I know you know this logically, but in the moment, your brain wants comfort. It wants to go to what you've always done to relieve your anxiety or stress. This is why it's important to pause before reacting. Pause before grabbing for that bottle of wine or that bottle of beer out of the fridge,

We can't change our behaviors until we become AWARE of our thoughts and actions. This is why the pause is important. It gives us a second to think about our choices.

The next time you automatically drive into the liquor store parking lot on your way home from work, or you grab for your glass of wine while cooking dinner, take a step back and reflect on what's really going on. Why are you really grabbing for alcohol? Habit? Stress?

Whatever the case is, knowing that will help you to...

Things to remember:

you are constantly growing, learning, experiencing
your mistakes do not define you
you are not on anyone's timeline except your own

That last one, though. We tend to compare our journeys with others.

Maybe it's that they're farther along than you - in days because how else do you measure farther along?
Maybe it's that they're always smiling while you feel like you're more miserable than not.
Maybe it's that you've gained weight, and they've lost.
Maybe it's that your face broke out while they have glowing skin.

Whatever the case is, we tend to look at what's not going right for us compared to others. As a human, it's natural to do that, but it's not doing you any favors.

Focus on YOU and YOUR improvements. I can guarantee that you have many. Heck, putting down the bottle alone is a huge accomplishment, so stop looking at the superficial aspects of this journey and start giving yourself praise for unlearning a toxic habit you've relied on for years or, in some cases,...

You deserve a life without alcohol, so stop sabotaging yourself into thinking you don't.

I see this with some of my clients, and no doubt, I used to do this myself. And while alcohol isn't sabotaging my life anymore. There are still other thought patterns that creep in now and again that I know are preventing me from upleveling. 

A lot of the time, we don't even realize we're doing this. Our subconscious comes in and automatically reacts based on our past experiences, beliefs, and behaviors. The subconscious mind is a massive topic in itself, but here's what you need to know.

By the time you were 7 or 8 years old, you already had a solid foundation of belief based on all that programming from people in your life, television shows you watched, and other environmental influences. These got stored in your subconscious so that you're reacting based on previous experiences from childhood later in life.

Maybe your mom made you feel that you were...

The only thing guaranteed in life is UNCERTAINTY.

It's so funny how we talk ourselves out of doing something or making a change because it's not the "right time". Does this sound familiar?

I'll stop drinking when the kids are back in school full time.
I'll stop drinking when my birthday is over.
I'll stop drinking when (insert your favorite excuse).

As 2020 showed us, you can make a plan and set your goals, to-do lists, etc., and out of the blue, a wrench gets thrown into the mix, and your whole plan is gone.

Nothing in life is certain. We could have the greatest intentions, and then life happens. And some of these things are out of our control, which can make us even more frustrated.

You can be certain that you won't make life harder than it has to be by not drinking alcohol, though. Because we all know alcohol makes life harder. Whether it's the anxiety the next day, having no energy, overthinking what you said or did, staying stuck in the same old pattern, hating yourself, and the...

When you quit drinking, there's no more wasted mental energy going back and forth about how many glasses of wine you've had, keeping yourself in check, or justifying that next drink.

There's just living in the moment.

This is what life is about—living in the moment.

I was speaking with a mom yesterday on a 1:1 call. By the way, I get a lot of content from mothers I speak with to show you that you're not alone. Chances are, if they're struggling with a situation or thought, many of you out there are struggling with it too.

But anyway, I digress. We talked about how when you're not drinking, you're not constantly worried about how many drinks you've had or if someone is going to know that you're drunk or the going back and forth of having "just one more". All of that noise is EXHAUSTING.

Now that the option of drinking is taken off the table, she can truly live in the moment and be present for it all.

Some of you may be thinking, but I don't want to be present. I'm socially...

How many of you have thought stopping drinking shouldn't be this hard?
I know I did. Like why can't I just not pick up a drink? Sounds pretty simple, right? But it is more than just not picking up a drink.

It is unlearning a coping mechanism you've relied on for years or even decades.
It is rewiring your brain.
It is becoming conscious of why you turn to alcohol.
It is becoming aware of your triggers.
It is dealing with trauma or experiences from the past.
It is being patient.

It is so much more than not drinking. That's the easy part. The real work begins when you stop drinking and realize that you drank to numb out from everyday life and what you will do without your crutch now.

You drank because...
your spouse annoys you.
your kids won't give you 5 minutes of uninterrupted time to just be.
everyone around you is.
you're sabotaging yourself.

This list could go on and on, but these are pretty common reasons. I hear it ALL THE TIME. Yes, those reasons are valid but grabbing for that glass...

Quitting drinking didn't change my life overnight, but it paved the way to work on myself mentally, physically, and spiritually so that I could be the best mother possible.

For the second nightly check-in of the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge, many mothers expressed how they felt grumpy and more irritable than usual. I know many who are doing #dryjanuary may feel the same way so I wanted to touch on it.

My response to the mother in the group was, It is ok to feel irritable and just not yourself.

Your body and mind are adjusting to no alcohol. As a reminder, it takes up to 10 days for alcohol to leave your body completely, so give yourself some grace and time to start feeling better.

My therapist told me in the beginning that it takes up to 2 years for you to completely heal from the abuse you put your body through with alcohol. Depending on how much and how long you drank, it may take you that long as well. Does it mean that you're going to feel miserable for two years? ABSOLUTELY...

To the mother who questioned her relationship with alcohol this year.
To the mother who remained sober during one of the most chaotic years of our lifetime.
To the mother who slipped but still chose to keep trying.
I see you, and I'm SO proud of you.

SO proud of all of you; whether you have 1 day, 1000 days, or are still questioning what exactly your end goal is for alcohol, you deserve so much credit.

During one of the hardest years of our lifetime...

You CHOSE to look at alcohol differently and see that alcohol wasn't doing you any favors.

You CHOSE to deal with things head-on instead of mindlessly numbing out through a substance.

You CHOSE to find joy in the midst of chaos without alcohol.

I'm so damn proud of you all!

Wishing you all a safe and Alcohol-Free NYE!

(That's Martinelli's sparkling cider in that flute)

Xo,

Alyson (@alysonpremo)

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY TO JOIN THE 60 DAY ALCOHOL-FREE CHALLENGE! If you tried your best to get and stay alcohol-free during 2020 but just...

Let me know if this sounds familiar.

Whether it's at the beginning of the year or not, you set goals to lose weight, eat healthier, be more active, or whatever goal you have toward your health.

So you're eating pretty good, you're working out, BUT you don't feel any better, and the number on the scale isn't moving. You can't seem to figure out why. I mean, you only have a couple of glasses of wine, so that can't be that bad, right? Wrong!

Aside from all the negatives, alcohol does to your mental health. It in no way, shape or form helps your physical health by not only being a Class 1 Carcinogen (same category as asbestos, by the way), it also has empty added calories.

Plus, if you were anything like me, I would drink on an empty stomach, and then after a few glasses, I didn't care about what I ate. A whole bag of chips? Yes! A package of cookies? I ate it like the Cookie Monster! I wasn't eating all day long, so I would "save" my calories for wine, but then end up having those...