It’s not about waiting until you feel ready.
It’s about doing it anyway, and knowing readiness will come.

You wouldn't believe how many times I hear, "I'm just not ready yet."

Mama, you're never going to be ready. There isn't going to be some magical experience where you're like, now I"m ready to quit drinking. Unicorns, rainbows, and a huge celebration isn't going to pop up out of nowhere to let you know now is the time.

You already know NOW is the time, or you wouldn't be on this page. You wouldn't even be reading this post right now. Trust that gentle nudge inside yourself that it's time to stop giving yourself excuses and start. Once we start, we're taking some type of action that will eventually lead to being ready. But you're never going to know until you initiate the change.

Ready to stop waking up with hangxiety and a boatload of guilt and regret? In my (@sobermomcaoch) signature program Confidently Be Alcohol-Free - 60 Day Challenge, I'm teaching you how to feel...

One of my favorite sayings is, "CHOOSE YOUR HARD" because you have the choice of whether you want to make your life harder than it needs to be.

Most of the time, we think drinking makes it easier for us to get through life or motherhood but does it really?

Is waking up with a hangover and having to take care of the kids all day worth those 30 minutes of relief?

Is the crippling anxiety the next day worth the 30 minutes of relief that you were looking for to make your anxiety better at the moment?

Is the constant negative self-talk and how you just can't do it worth it for those 30 minutes of relief?

No, it's absolutely not, but we think it is. We look for that immediate reward because that's what we've always done. We've always gone to alcohol to relieve whatever life has thrown our way, and it can be uncomfortable and hard to unlearn that pattern and rewire a new one.

But at least when you're working on ditching alcohol, there's a reward waiting for you on the other side that no...

I can't imagine if I was still drinking right now. Guaranteed, I'd either be dead, my son would hate me and grow up with some serious trauma, or I'd mindlessly be going through the motions of life until I could get my next drink.

Typing that out makes me sad. Seriously that's what my life could've become if I kept drinking. If when I got out of detox, I decided to go right back to drinking. What a waste of a life that would be.

The growth that I've seen in myself and others who are close to me have seen in the past 4 years is more than I've seen in my entire life.

Through sober eyes, I was able to see that....

I'm in control of my life and not a victim of my circumstances.
Forgiving others doesn't mean you forget what they've done, but you know that it gives you peace.
Resentment and jealousy will eat you up alive if you let it.
Constantly complaining and blaming is not a good look.
Life is going to be challenging, but you can either look at it as an opportunity for growth or a way...

I can't force anyone to change their relationship with alcohol, but I can be your guide while you try to find your way.

This is a tough one for me sometimes. As a coach, my not being attached to your outcome is the greatest way for me to give you the transformation you're looking for.

You know what happens when we force someone to do something, right? We push them away even further, so as a coach, my job is to support you by asking questions so that you can find the answer within yourself. So that you can provide your own accountability when our time together is over.

The goal of coaching is not for you to become reliant on me. It's for you to become confident enough so that you can cut the cord and take the tools you learned into your life.

Of course, I will be in your corner as long as you need me, but ultimately I want you to be able to succeed on your own. And when I say on your own, I don't mean without a support network. I mean, without a coach holding you accountable and...

If you let yourself, you will always find an excuse to keep drinking. I spent many years thinking I was too young or wasn't that bad, or everyone around me was drinking just as much as I was.

The truth was there will never be a perfect day to quit drinking. No matter what day you start, it's going to be uncomfortable because it's new. Will it be hard? More than likely, but that just goes to show you the grips alcohol has on you.

The most important thing I want you to get out of this post is the longer you wait, the harder it gets. And I'm not saying that you have to use the forever word or won't have slip-ups on this journey, but what I am saying is starting now and having mishaps while learning lessons along the way is better than not starting at all.

Don't be the mom years from now wondering about what-if I started when I wasn't ready. I've heard these before.

What if I started before I let my physical and mental health spiral out of control?
What if I started before my kids were...

Saying you drink red wine for the health benefits is like saying you eat ice cream for the calcium.

I'm not knocking ice cream at all because who doesn't love sitting on the couch with a good movie and diving into a pint of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked. Just me?

But do you see how ridiculous that sounds? Eating ice cream for the calcium. Like, come on. I'm eating ice cream because it tastes good and gives me a dopamine hit.

The same thing goes for the justification for drinking red wine for the health benefits, particularly for the antioxidants. Um, don't fool yourself, love. You could get that same amount of antioxidants in blueberries, dark chocolate, pecans, strawberries, artichokes, raspberries, kale, goji berries, red cabbage, beans, beets, and so on. You get the idea.

You are not drinking red wine for the health benefits. You are drinking it for the buzz. For the sense of relief, those first few sips give you. You are drinking it for the dopamine hit it provides, not for the...

It all starts in our minds.

The way that we talk to ourselves.
The way that we show up.
The way that we commit.

If you're already coming in with the mindset of I can't do this, then the chances of you not following through on your commitment are greater.

How about you flip it to that you can do this? That it might be new and uncomfortable, but that means you are stepping out of your comfort zone and allowing yourself to get out of this toxic drinking cycle. You're not allowing alcohol to keep you safe any longer.

You CAN do this, but it's way harder to do on our own, which is why I believe so much in my programs. You don't have to do it alone, and you'll have a group of MOTHERS cheering you on, helping you through the rough moments, and celebrating your "firsts".

So what do you say? Are you going to keep doing it on your own and falling back into the same old pattern, or are you going to switch it up and learn the tools, receive accountability, and connect with other mothers that you...

Alcohol was my security blanket.

Did you have a favorite stuffed animal or blanket that you carried around with you as a child? Or do your kids have one that they need at all times to feel safe or to fall asleep?

That's what I felt like alcohol was to me. It was my security blanket. It kept me "safe". Without it, I wasn't able to handle my emotions or sometimes even fall asleep.

The level at which I "needed" alcohol changed through the years because that's what happens with the progression of addiction. It gets worse and worse until you need it to survive.

I needed it to handle social situations.
I needed it to feel sexy.
I needed it to feel confident.
I needed it to make me feel happy.
I needed it to make me feel nothing at all.
I needed it for comfort.

At the end of my addiction, I carried alcohol around with me wherever I went. I filled up water bottles with vodka. I filled up my Yeti with wine. In the last couple of months of my drinking, I even had a bottle of wine on my nightstand...

Why do most of us get trapped in this cycle? Because we don't want to feel.

We don't want to feel sadness, anxiety, grief, and all the so-called "bad" emotions. But that's all part of being human, right?

At a young age, I learned that crying was considered a sign of weakness. Big girls don't cry. Big girls handle their problems with a smile on their face. Sigh. It's unfortunate, but that's the way parenting was done back in the day.

All that resisting, avoiding, and suppressing isn't doing any of us favors in the long run. I was never taught how to handle these tough emotions, so later in life, I turned to alcohol to make them go away. What I didn't know was they weren't going away; they were festering and eating me alive.

I think many of us were raised the same way, which was to stuff our emotions inside. Thankfully through the years, a different approach to "just stay strong" or "you're fine" has been replaced by talking through feelings and actually feeling them. But a lot of us...

What are you doing to celebrate your wins along this journey?

Remember, no win is too small.

You made it through your first social situation without alcohol? Celebrate!

You made it through an overwhelming day and didn't turn to alcohol? Celebrate!

You're 30 days sober? Celebrate!

We tend to be so hard on ourselves and forget that we deserve to celebrate ourselves no matter the size of the win.

Removing alcohol isn't for the faint of heart. This is hard work that you're doing not to drink, so don't talk yourself into thinking it's not a big deal. It's a huge deal. If it were easy, then so many wouldn't be struggling right now.

Are you celebrating with a massage? A new espresso maker? A piece of jewelry? A fancy coffee? A mani/pedi? I want to know how you celebrate your wins! Comment below to give other mamas ideas on how to give themselves love for all their hard work.

Looking for a listening ear and a mentor on your alcohol-free journey? Click here or message me (@sobermomcoach)...