People say you can't get sober for anyone else but yourself. I call bullshit on that! Hear me out.
I truly believe that if I didn't have my son, I wouldn't be sober today. He gave me the external motivation to stop self-destructing because he needed me. He deserved a mother who wasn't consumed with when her next drink would be or spending the days laid in bed or hugging the toilet.
So yes, he was my initial motivator, but as time has passed, I'm sober for ME. He can't keep me sober because that's not his job. What happens when he goes to college and moves out? Would that mean I'd return to the bottle because he's gone, so there's no other reason to stay sober? Hell to the no.
I'm sober because I DESERVE IT.
My body deserves it.
My mind deserves it.
My soul deserves it.
So while he was the reason, I asked for help and wanted to get out of the cycle. He isn't my only reason for STAYING sober. There's so much more to live for now.
❌ Long gone are the days that are an absolute blur wondering what embarrassing thing I said or did.
❌ Long gone are the days of crippling anxiety.
❌ Long gone are the days of living with resentment and bitterness.
❌ Long gone are the days of sleeping with random men so that I could feel wanted and loved.
❌ Long gone are the days of living in victim mode.
❌ Long gone are the days of wondering what's the point of life.
❌ Long gone are the days of wishing I could drink like a "normal" person.
I was going to say, long gone are the days of beating myself up, but that's not true. There are days I get into the comparison trap or that negative self-talk loop. Because guess what? I'm only human. Now when I start doing that, I recognize it for what it is and move the fuck on.
Truly grateful for my struggle and the way my life has panned out, and I'll NEVER stop saying how grateful I am.
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