At the beginning of this sobriety journey, you may feel like everything sucks and wondering why you're putting yourself through this torture of having to feel it all with no relief. And I understand I've been there too.

But no matter how much it sucks, there's always a silver lining. Even if it's just a tiny sliver of good, that's what you hold on to. Like...

Enjoying a cup of coffee before the kids wake up instead of waiting until the last minute to get up because you're tired and hungover.
Playing a board game with your kids and actually being present instead of worrying about when you can have your glass of wine.
Being able to be there for your kids in the middle of the night when they're sick.
Knowing that you're giving your body the love it deserves by not ingesting a poison.
Not adding more anxiety to your everyday life.
Washing your face before bed.

There are SO many silver linings of sobriety. All you have to do at the beginning is be willing to see just one. That's it. One...

So many of us (myself included back in the day) didn't think we had a problem with alcohol. Thoughts of...

"I enjoy a glass of wine here or there, but I can go without it."
"Yes, I may drink a little more on the weekends, but I'm winding down from a stressful week. No big deal."
"Having a whole bottle of wine in one night is totally fine and normal."
"I got too drunk because I "forgot" to eat."

The list could go on and on with the excuses we give ourselves that we don't have a problem, but I think a good gauge is trying to take a break for 30 days. Of course, you're not going to break a habit and reap all the rewards of being alcohol-free in just 30 days, but this is a great starting point to assess your relationship with alcohol.

"Maybe you're thinking this is a piece of cake. Of course, I can go without alcohol for 30 days. I'm not dependent on it." Then the weekend rolls around, and you're pacing around, irritable, and all you want is a glass of wine to unwind. There's your clue...

Oh damn. I heard this on a recent podcast episode of Straight Up with @trentshelton, and it stopped me in my tracks.

Sidenote - his podcast has become one of my favs, and I've binged like 10 episodes in the past two days. So if you, like me, like a little kick in the ass with some truth bombs, then he's your guy!

Back to why this quote is so powerful. He's right. You CAN'T heal until you bring forth what you've been suppressing and hiding for so long. If you keep stuffing it down with booze, then you're never going to be able to take a look at what the real issues are. You're never going to get out of this drinking cycle because you're just removing the alcohol. You're not taking a deeper look at why you chose alcohol in the first place.

This is why most people who use willpower or "white-knuckling" as their long-term approach will most likely go back to alcohol because our will eventually runs out. There's only so much our brains can take, and something may set you off - a bad...

I "have" to drink because I'm going out to dinner with my friends.
I "have" to drink because I can't turn down a drink from my mother-in-law.
I "have" to drink because insert any excuse you've given yourself.

Mamas, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do, and that includes drinking. You don't HAVE to drink; you WANT to drink, and I'm not saying that means you're a bad person at all, but I am saying that you need to be real with yourself.

Stop with the excuses. Stop lying to yourself. You can simply say, No thanks. I'm not drinking. Boom. That's it. And if they still push (which 99% of the time), they won't then repeat, No, I'm good. If you're serious about not drinking, then you'll stick to your commitment.

What it comes down to is fear. Fear of judgment. Fear of rejection. You're scared to say no or tell people you're taking a break because of what they may think of you. And that's totally normal to feel that way. But newsflash, if your "friend" is judging you for not...

What it comes down to is we only have one life. Are you going to spend it constantly running, escaping, and numbing out? Or are you going to appreciate that negative experiences are just part of life because we can't appreciate the good without the bad. We don't know what joy is until we've experienced pain. We don't know happiness until we've experienced sadness.

Don't spend your time here thinking about drinking, drinking, or regretting you drank just because you don't want to deal with life. Your one life is precious, and so is the time with your kids.

Imagine how much time and mental energy you are wasting. Imagine what you could be doing with that time. Imagine the moments you're missing out on because you're more concerned about escaping rather than dealing with it head-on and then moving on.

Don't waste any more time on a substance that doesn't add value to your life. You deserve so much more than the regret, mom guilt, and anxiety that's waiting for you at the bottom of the...

So Diet Coke and I broke up. I was getting my massage last month, and surprisingly the massage therapist was sober too. Crazy how the world brings people into our lives that we need to learn from. When we're open and confident about our decision not to drink, then we'll attract those same types of people into our lives. But that's a topic for a different day. 

Back to my story. I've always loved Diet Coke. I didn't' think it was that big of a deal because it has zero calories, and it's not going to kill me. Well, she told me some stories, and they're all stories I've heard before, so I knew it was time. Diet Coke and I are taking a break for good.  

Why am I telling you this? I know that breaking any bad habit can be hard initially, but since I've been sober for over four years now, I forgot what it's like to take away your crutch. My mind doesn't go to alcohol anymore. I've broken that connection and have made a new neural pathway in my brain. But that Diet Coke...

The 20 question "Am I An Alcoholic?" survey is a waste of time. If you're questioning your drinking to where you want to take a survey, then it's already enough of a problem to stop.

How many of you have googled, "am I an alcoholic" after another drinking disaster? I hear it all the time. And what I want you to know is that if you're questioning your relationship to alcohol to where you have to take a survey, then that's the only validation you need to know that alcohol is negatively impacting your life. Also, you don't have to label yourself as an alcoholic to stop drinking.

People who don't have a drinking problem aren't googling if they have a drinking problem, right?

If you're going to take a survey, then obviously, there have been MANY incidents where you feel that alcohol has negatively impacted your life or you have had consequences as a result of drinking too much. As a culture, we see binge drinking or the mishaps of our drinking as funny sometimes, but it's not funny at...

This alcohol-free journey can be a lonely road, but I promise you no matter how alone you think you are, there is someone out there who knows exactly what you're going through.

The whole reason why I created Sober Mom Tribe (@sobermomtribe) in the first place was to show you that you aren't alone and that there is nothing wrong with you.

When we're in the midst of our drinking and not being able to "control" or stop it, we feel so alone. We think that no one understands. We feel like a bad mom. We feel like a bad person. We just don't know why we keep putting ourselves through the same torture. We already know the outcome, yet we keep doing it.

But I want you to know. It's not you. It's the alcohol. You've been sucked into thinking that alcohol is fun and gives you relief from your problems and makes you relax, but it doesn't. It doesn't at all. And before you realize this, you've become entrapped into a vicious drinking cycle that is hard to get out of. And it's tough to get out of...

The notion of having to be the perfect mom causes us to feel overwhelmed, unworthy, and in constant comparison, which in turn increases the chances we'll drink.

All those emotions that we don't want to feel. All the guilt of not spending enough time with our kids. All the guilt of not being the Pinterest worthy mom. All the guilt of feeling like we just don't have our sh*t together perpetuates the cycle of drinking.

We want all that chatter to go away, so what do we do? We turn to our trusty bottle of wine to take those thoughts away. But they're not gone because you wake up feeling even more guilt for drinking too much the night before.

What a vicious cycle to be in, right?

I hear it all the time, which is why I'm sharing it with you today. There is no such thing as a perfect mom. Perfect is objective, so what I think may be perfect, you may not think is perfect, and the next mom might have another definition of perfect. That's why it's important not to get caught up in the...

Be proud of yourself for looking at your drinking and recognizing that it isn't serving you anymore. Many people lack this self-awareness, but not you, and that's a step in the right direction.

Do you realize that most of the people in this world don't even get to the level of self-awareness that you're at right now?

Yes, I'm assuming because you follow this account, but if you didn't think alcohol was a problem in your life, you wouldn't be on this page, so that's a step in the right direction. Many will just go through life following the crowd and not diving deeper into their habits and why they are the way they are. Why they don't like to feel emotion. Why they react rather than respond.

I talked with a 1:1 client yesterday, and we're starting to explore where her beliefs come from and what she can do to begin changing those belief systems. It's not easy to recognize your thought patterns and switch them, but the first step is to become aware of those thoughts, so that's a win....